Evil Chocolate Jellybeans

Jelly Belly jellybeans have a chocolate pudding flavor. Glorious, you say? You LOVE chocolate, you say?

Well, good for you.

I was not too happy upon discovering that Jelly Belly bags of 30 assorted flavors contains a chocolate flavored jellybean. Maybe I should have thought to check the label first, but really, who would expect a chocolate jellybean?

Jellybeans are one of my least favorite candies, but I like many of the flavors of Jelly Belly brand. Still, I rarely buy them, rarely as in, once every other year. The only reason I wanted Jelly Belly jellybeans this time was because I had watched a documentary about the inventor of the candy, David Klein. I couldn't stop thinking about the candy and when I needed to get cash for ice skating, I went to the grocery store and bought a small bag of Jelly Bellys so that I could get cash. Kill two birds with one jellybean, you know?

I thought it was a root beer jellybean. The root beer, coffee, and chocolate jellybeans look too similar. The company should differentiate them better. The same with grape and black licorice; the grape should be decidedly more purple because as much as I don't like grape flavored candy, I despise black licorice, so the unhappiness which results in biting unawares into a licorice jellybean is almost too much to bear.

Sitting at my work desk, I chomped down a few of my favorites: pear, watermelon, peach...

Oh, a root beer jellybean. Not my favorite, but I'll try it.

Chomp chomp... chomp... OH NO!

Chocolate!

Too late! I swallowed already.

Who knew such a tiny bean could inflict so much discomfort?

My symptoms didn't take long to appear. The sad fact is, since I developed a chocolate allergy in 2008, any time I am exposed to chocolate since, my reaction increases in severity and sensitivity. Throat swelling cold/sinus symptoms, raspy voice, trouble breathing, sneezing uncontrollably, running nose, throat soreness, are all potential, immediate symptoms after I eat chocolate. Two Hershey's kisses had me sleeping sitting up in bed, almost ready to call an ambulance because I couldn't catch my breath. One BITE into a "mint" from a restaurant which had a hidden coating of chocolate underneath had my nose running, throat swelling in under five minutes and then made me breathe like a marathon runner after only walking 100ft.

Thankfully, jellybeans are tiny, and as real as Jelly Bellys taste, probably aren't as potent as a piece of chocolate despite the ingredients listing real cocoa. (Why didn't I read the ingredients! Oh, because, who's ever heard of a chocolate jellybean?) Despite the size, within five minutes, my throat was swollen and sore. Enough that I couldn't eat my lunch because swallowing was difficult. I could breathe well enough, but my nose was running and my speaking voice was raspy like I had just woken up or had a sinus problem.

I asked all of my coworkers, the visiting accountant, the Executive Director, but no one had an allergy pill! Normally I carry Claritin/Wal-itin brand allergy pills around with me for moments such as these, but I had just bought a new pack and forgot to transfer it from the medicine cabinet to my purse. I asked permission to leave work to visit the Mobil gas station across the street. They had Tylenol and Benadryl brand allergy medicine, but acetaminophen makes me throw up and Benadryl makes me hallucinate. The last things I want to add to my already distressing symptoms.

Since my car was in the shop, I couldn't drive 3 minutes to my house to get the allergy medicine and I couldn't walk the 17 minutes there in my condition either even if I could leave work for that long on a whim. In the end, I drank cold water, took an Advil, and prayed my reaction wouldn't get worse. Callers probably wondered why I sounded so horrible (and after transferring one, my coworker reported that the lady had asked if the receptionist was sick because "it sounds like she has a terrible cold".) Three hours of discomfort later, the swelling subsided enough that I felt comfortable swallowing my lunch. Either that, or I was too hungry to care. The first thing I did when I walked in my front door was make a bee line to the medicine cabinet. From now on, I will keep the medicine in my purse and refrain from buying Jelly Belly jellybeans unless I can be sure the chocolate bean is NOT in the bag.