The Orchid Journal

During the Maundy Thursday service this evening, I sang in the choir for the first time in almost a year. With my transportation issues, moving, getting shingles, etc etc, it has been too difficult to keep up attending all of the choir practices and church services. I miss singing. Tonight, I decided to join the choir on a whim and one of the beautiful songs we sang was Ave Verum Corpus by Mozart. Music like this is one of the millions of reasons I love being a Christian. Imagine singing pieces like this as a congregation, in a choir, alone in my house- along with Celtic, gospel, folk, any other culture infused music EVERY WEEK and which describes grace, forgiveness, divine love and power. That to me, is like having God breathe new life and strength into the inner fibers of my weary bones and broken spirit. This video has Spanish subtitles, but the choir is singing in Latin. The Latin words: Ave verum corpus, natum de Maria Virgine, vere passum, immolatum in cruce ...

(2009- A piece of wood that reminded me of an animal skull on Mt. Lemmon. Tucson, AZ) A fitting poem for Holy Week, by John Donne : A Hymn To God The Father Wilt thou forgive that sin where I begun, Which was my sin, though it were done before? Wilt thou forgive that sin, through which I run, And do run still, though still I do deplore? When thou hast done, thou hast not done, For I have more. Wilt thou forgive that sin which I have won Others to sin, and made my sin their door? Wilt thou forgive that sin which I did shun A year or two, but wallow'd in, a score? When thou hast done, thou hast not done, For I have more. I have a sin of fear, that when I have spun My last thread, I shall perish on the shore; But swear by thyself, that at my death thy Son Shall shine as he shines now, and heretofore; And, having done that, thou hast done; I fear no more.

Singing of grace, I should say. Here is one of my favorite sounds of my childhood- the voices of Ladysmith Black Mambazo- coupled with Amazing Grace and Nearer My God to Thee. This video is fitting for the Easter season in which we celebrate God's grace demonstrated to us through the death and resurrection of Christ which draws us near to God.

I know, I know. It's supposed to be Maundy Thursday, but I thought I'd mess with your mind a bit since I'm changing my blog focus this week. Veering from my typical Mitigate Monday, Tour of Tuesday, Weighty Wednesday, Theology Thursday, and Frolic Friday posts, I am going to post a photo, a scripture or poem and maybe a brief personal thought about Easter week. Because this is Holy Week for me as a Christian, I will be super busy practicing my cello with the church orchestra in preparation for Sunday, making weekend plans with beloved friends, attending the Maundy Thursday service, the Saturday Easter Vigil service, and the Easter Sunday service. Interspersed between now and then, I will also be helping set up the newly renovated church nursery, going to work, my counseling appointments, Pilates classes, a breakfast on Saturday morning at a local cafe, a breakfast at church on Sunday morning, another orchestra practice, a movie viewing at a theatre with friends, a lu...

(The back cover of one of my devotional books, 2011) People can tame all kinds of animals, birds, reptiles, and fish, but no one can tame the tongue. It is restless and evil, full of deadly poison. Sometimes it praises our Lord and Father, and sometimes it curses those who have been made in the image of God. And so blessing and cursing come pouring out of the same mouth. Surely, my brothers and sisters, this is not right! Does a spring of water bubble out with both fresh water and bitter water? Does a fig tree produce olives, or a grapevine produce figs? No, and you can’t draw fresh water from a salty spring. (James 3:7-12) I spent the first 27.5 years of my life trying to avoid using curse words, especially ones used to describe characteristics of certain annoying people in my life. Last year, I picked up a few curse words, only used in extreme circumstances and only to describe how horrid a situation felt. Some words more aptly suit the pain and travesty of life than other, mo...

(None of these are Joseph- Birds from the St. Louis Zoo 2010-2012) The clear water, browned like hot water colored by seeping tea leaves, was darkest underneath the porch of the mill house which stood in the river on cement pillars. I leaned over the railing and watched the white froth from the roaring waterfall at my left swirl around under my suspended feet. The air smelled fresh with spray from the cool water and the smell of loamy green earth being warmed in the sun. I had never stood on Dr. Luther's porch before, despite the many years I grew up visiting Head of the River for family reunions. I liked seeing the river from a new angle. My whole life I had looked at the river from the landing near the waterfall and from the bank where my grandparents' house stood. I had seen the river from the opposite side where I could stand on the island Dr. Luther had built and look across at our family house. I had watched the water from further down stream where the river flo...

The St. James General Store in Saint James, NY is a happy place. Not only does it hold happy memories for me as a child, teenager, and adult visitor to the store, but the physical St. James General Store looks and smells of happiness. How can a building look and smell of happiness? First of all, it has been maintained in a historic 1880-1910 time period inside with the workers dressed in period clothing behind old polished counters piled high with fascinating crafts, books, doodads, and my favorite, candy in glass jars. When I first visited the store as a child, it was painted white, but when visiting it as a teenager, the store had been painted a cheery fall yellow as it is now. Happiness to me, smells of cinnamon, chocolate, sweet gummy candy, polished old wood, sachets of lavender, handmade soaps, and new books. Happiness sounds like the bell on the front door ringing as you walk in, the wood floors creaking slightly as you walk across the store and more so as you climb the...

Whether you reside in the Southwest, the Midwest, the East or West, North or South, Spring is a hope-filled season for everyone. Plants of any region, spiny cacti or Magnolia trees, burst into bloom. Wedding season starts, children venture into the neighborhood streets to play, runners in the park emerge like a swarm of bees, and the plant sections of Home Depots everywhere feature seed packets galore for Spring planting. Yesterday, I finally glimpsed the beginnings of Daffodil plants poking out of the ground along the highway medians. To celebrate the not-too-far-off Spring season, here are some happy photos to brighten your Monday. (all photos taken during Springtime either in Arizona or Missouri, 2009-2012)

After years of prayer and seeking God about the possibility that I may never want to be a mother, I started researching women, motherhood, and children in the Bible and asking advice from my pastors. This is a vast overview of what I have learned: While Adam and Eve and humanity as a whole were given the directive to be fruitful and multiply, nowhere in scripture does it say that having children is a requirement for every individual couple. This is what the Bible does make clear about our attitude towards children in general: ~Children are to be considered a blessing and a good upon the earth, unlike some of the pagan cultures around Israel at the time who slaughtered their children for sacrifice to the gods or left them to die in the wilderness if unwanted. ~As Christ demonstrated with the way he blessed the children, they are to be received into the kingdom and brought to Christ, not sidelined or dismissed as unimportant. ~They are to be protected, guided/disciplined, and...

(Chinese Lantern Festival Missouri Botanical Garden, 2012- story depicted in the photo is below) On the 7th day of the 7th lunar month, China celebrates the Qixi festival which surrounds a folk story of two lovers separated in the sky by the Milky Way. A poor cowherd and a beautiful girl from Heaven (some stories call her a fairy, some a daughter of the Emperor or Goddess) fall in love and marry. They live happily together for years and have two children, but one day the Goddess of heaven discovers their love and is furious. The lovers are forced to separate in the sky on two stars, the wife on one side, the husband and children on the other, with the Milky Way in between them. Every year at the same time the magpies fly to make a bridge between the two lovers so that they can meet at last. Considering the plight of this story's "star crossed lovers" (literally in this case), I can't decide if it is more frustrating to find your love and then be so drasticall...

(View of the Catalina Mountains looking north from standing on "A" Mountain on the west side of Tucson. 2009) Or rather, I should title this, tour of the Santa Catalina Mountains, with mention of the highest point, Mt. Lemmon, because when living in Arizona, the locals say they "took a trip up Mt. Lemmon" or are "going up Mount Lemmon today", meaning the entire mountain. Tucson is surrounded on most sides, not only by Saguaro National Park, but also by four mountain ranges. The Rincon Mountains are to the East, Tucson Mountains on the West, Santa Rita Mountains are further to the South, and towering over Tucson to the North are the "Catalina Mountains" as they are always called. Even after five years of living in Tucson, I actually didn't even know the name of the mountain range was preceded by the word "Santa" until just now. The mountains in Tucson are a daily sigh for sore eyes. Because the desert land in between is fla...

( a photo from online ) All weekend I have had pets on my mind. When visiting Soulard Market 's pet shop on Saturday morning, I was delighted to discover that they sold Beta fish. Since my Beta Vladimir died before Thanksgiving last year, I have had a hard time imagining getting another fish. Besides the fact that I have been busy moving into my new place and I still don't even have a kitchen table or coffee table to display a fishbowl, I was too shocked about finding Vladimir dried up on my desk to be able to risk having another pet in my life. When I saw the colorful Betas in the pet booth at the market, I was so excited, I knew it is nearing the time when I will buy another one. On Saturday afternoon, I took a walk in Forest Park and I admired all the dogs I saw walking with their owners. One in particular warmed my heart. I saw her walking towards me, a larger version of our family dog Sugar who is a Bischon-red toy poodle mix, a soft sandy color with curly hair...

"Supposedly machines can do it better, and supposedly it's all labor saving. We give away our capacity to do things with our hands and with our bodies that actually give us health and vitality. To use our hands to knead the bread; to make things, to touch things, to smell things; we give it away, and then how're we gonna feel alive?" Edward Espe Brown, Zen priest in Fairfax, CA, as quoted from the film "How to Cook Your Life" Since moving into my place, I have started doing my laundry by hand. Washing machines and dryers are miraculous devices, especially for households larger than one person or with children. Even if you're one person, having those machines to wash bedding and towels is nothing short of a necessity unless you have hands like Hercules and don't mind wringing out massive lengths of water laden fabric. I don't mind washing my clothes by hand as long as I don't wait too long for the dirty clothes to pile up. In Arizon...

TBG Vision Statement The Tucson Botanical Gardens, a tranquil oasis in the heart of Tucson, strives to be recognized and respected as the best small public garden in America. TBG Mission Statement The Tucson Botanical Gardens promotes responsible and appropriate use of plants and water in a desert environment through education and demonstration and provides a place of beauty and tranquility for Tucson residents and visitors. When visiting the Tucson Botanical Gardens , it is helpful to remember the Garden's Vision and Mission statements. At least for me, I think my first visit to the garden may have avoided a slight disappointment if I had read that it is a "small" garden. Let me explain. When I think "Botanical Gardens", I first imagine the Missouri Botanical Garden in St. Louis, or the Desert Botanical Garden in Phoenix, Arizona. These sprawling acres of botanical wonders have meandering paths and feature gardens the size of most people's ent...

(Central Park musicians, NYC, Road trip-June 2010) At long last I have realized that sometimes, Mondays just plain stink. For whatever reason that may be, I have come to accept that pretending otherwise doesn't make it much better. Lately I have had to employ coping strategies that I use for "morning/evening person" life in regards to Mondays. I am not a morning person. I'm not necessarily crabby, per say, unless you try to wake me up with a loud cheery voice sing-songing "Rise and Shine sleepyhead!" Then I want to punch you in the face. Just let me wake up to my subtle phone alarm. At that point you can speak in a normal, human voice (I highly suspect morning people are quite another species.) I don't need coffee or two hours without speaking to snap out of my sleep stupor, but if you let me go to the bathroom to wash my face and brush my teeth before having a conversation, I will be decidedly awake and more cheery after the dash of water an...

This video was way too cute not to share. I hope you are inspired! Pandas Going Down a Slide (I first saw the video on Facebook) Or just watch it here: