The Orchid Journal

I eat jam so rarely It grew a bit scary In the back of my small Frigidaire. One's appetite wanes With phantom stomach pains At the sight of jam with white hair. By Laelia Watt

I tripped on a rise in the sidewalk when I told my dad about you Rare is the heartthrob admitted out loud That momentary stumble My lips are sealed Tighter than my heartstrings Accustomed to scars Silence is safest The same street we walked, the same route that takes me to you I remember the moment every time I pass That momentary stumble My lips are sealed But even concrete cracks ~~~ Laelia Watt 11/19/2015

A skull? Nothing to fear! It is a weathered log! (LCW, Catalina Mountains 2009) The opposite of peace is not war. It is fear. The opposite of love is not hate. It is fear. Fear drives calamity, disturbs the otherwise still heart to doubt, and imagine evil against, or about, one's neighbor Fear steals the courage of love and the serenity of peace. It clouds our judgment And stalls our ambitions Fear confuses our intentions And kills our joy Perfect love sends fear running. 1 John 4:18 There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. Isaiah 41:10, 13 So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. For I am the Lord your God who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you. Mnemonic devices to aid in assuaging fear: ...

(Photos by Laelia, 2014) A barista? Tea Shop owner? Wholesale merchandiser of tea sets? A local Coffee roaster? Church minister? Choir director? Architect of churches? Bible publisher? See how many permutations there are? Now that you have (hopefully) spent some time discovering common themes in your life and personal habits, it is time to contemplate potential careers. It is entirely possible that you have known "what you want to do" since you were five and you are successfully doing that job already. If that is the case, then, I hate you. Just kidding! It is such a gift, to be that clear about your path in life and to be able to pursue it. Even when a person is clear about the type of career they would like to pursue, there are many directions within a career "subject" that you could choose. The reason why having a solid understanding of yourself is important in this discussion, is because the knowledge may illuminate avenues you may not have considered ...

(Me with yearling horse at the University of AZ Equine Center. Photo by my Aunt) In my journey, I've been focusing more on seeking joy in my body. These are some free-flowing thoughts to express a few thoughts I have had along the way: There is so much SHAME out there from every direction. All the "how tos" of "losing weight" and "never good enoughs" drown out the joy that is eating powerful, life-giving foods and doing exhilarating things that one loves! Walking, riding my bike, dancing, Pilates, canoeing etc are things I can't wait to do! I don't run for exercise, because I despise running unless absolutely necessary. I say, pursue activities that make you feel happy to be alive and thankful for your body! Do you ever marvel in awe at the way your body moves? Study human anatomy and physiology, and you will discover that the simplest move of a muscle requires an intricate chain reaction of minute proportions. One tiny malfunction,...

This series of posts are about exploring careers. Besides providing a meaningful, and thus more efficient in the long run, approach to choosing careers, I will also provide some unique career path ideas. Whether you are starting out in college, unhappy in your current job, facing a mid-life career shift, or helping someone who is facing these decisions, I hope to spur some new thoughts in the process. (An artist in Old North St. Louis creates his mural. LCW, 2014) While there is nothing wrong with choosing a career in the hopes that it will bring financial stability, or basing the decision on how many jobs are currently available in that field, it may not the best method with which to choose a career path. There are people who graduated with a particular degree only to find that they can't stand the actual work environments or duties required of them in that field. There are also people that have found a suitable career emphasis for them, but are using it in an ill-fittin...

(This is not a sparrow. Bird in Tower Grove park, LCW, 2014) On my way to pick up a car for the journey to my niece's birthday party, I stopped at a nearby coffeeshop for a bagel and cream cheese. Like most Saturdays when I'm either too busy or too tired to make lunch, I had hardly eaten all day. I sat outside in the shade of an umbrella, watching the cars stream through the busy intersection while I carefully spread cream cheese on every inch of the bread. Absentmindedly, I stopped to toss a nearby sparrow a soft pinch of my bagel. The bird grabbed the crumb and worked it around in its beak, before flying up to the top of a nearby Metrolink sign. The day was one of those days that is saturated in beauty. The air was warm, with a breeze. The sun shined like the sun usually does, with or without clouds, and there was sufficient shade under the newly leafed trees. I had no money worries. My family is safe and well. On an empty stomach, the bliss of a cinnamon raisin bagel...

A friend's hand holding a teacup from The London Tea Room- St. Louis, MO Summer, 2014 It is March. I have successfully avoided writing this post for 3 months of 2015, and I am not sure why I dragged my feet about it in the first place. In January, I visited Grace and Peace Fellowship, a local church which contains many of my favorite people, including relatives, friends, and former neighbors. At the time, I was feeling distant from God and people. I hoped that a change of scenery for one Sunday would help refresh my spirit. Have you ever been at that point? For me, it wasn't that I hated my church or the people, nor did I want to deny God forever. I admire our church leaders and I learn wonderful things about God from them, but at the time, I felt like I was going through the motions. Church was starting to feel monotonous. There have been a lot of changes in my life since last summer after four years of an arduous journey. One of the things I am having a difficult time ...

(A statue in the herb garden of the Missouri Botanical Garden. Photo taken Summer 2014) My new apartment is quiet. I love quiet. My quiet fish Saffron swims awkwardly in his tank for a second or two before he slumps defeated onto the stones at the bottom. He is two years old, but, judging by his recent disinterest in food and inability to swim except in great bursts from obvious effort, Saffron is probably going to die soon. That sounds morbid. He has been an exemplary pet, and for a fish, has seen many sights and met many new people. I still dread his death. The clock on the wall of my new apartment is silent. One of my first nights here, I sat in the living room staring at the clock's pendulum swinging back and forth as I absorbed the feeling of this new space. I found myself wondering if I LIKED the clock, if it matched my intended decor. Normally I don't have clocks in my living space, because even though I love the pleasing design of analogue clocks, they often tick.....