Bare Bones Money Matters

(Table in my Barrio Anita backyard, AZ 2009)


What matters to you?

Throughout my years of being poor, this question has been the defining point between chaos and calm. Money is a necessary part of living, and while I don't rely on it for my deliverance or ultimate comfort, and I hesitate to say that I love money, I don't hate it either. I love having the money to buy food and to pay my bills on time. I hate being in debt. I love having the money on hand for car repairs, sudden health emergencies, or to give to someone who needs it more than I do. I hate making so little money in a job that means little to me.

Often, not having enough money to buy the things in life that make it plug along safely, such as food, shelter, transportation, and health care, causes an immense amount of stress and fear and I feel like I adore money and wish I could have gobs of it at my disposal. Other times, when I'm enjoying friends, sitting in a play or concert, or doing artwork, I forget about money altogether.

Much of what we do in life revolves around money in some way. We work to get money. We sell our possessions for money or we buy them back with money. Even if sitting in a free community concert, money is involved in that the musicians paid teachers for years to improve their craft, the conductor and/or musicians are probably paid, and there may have been a venue rental fee for using the space to give the free concert. Sometimes when I am hungry, frustrated about holes in my clothes or having to wear short sleeves in winter because of lack of money, or when I see my book boxes sitting in the corner awaiting the moment when I have enough money to buy bookcases, I think money matters immensely to me.

I find that it is easy to get caught up in the chaotic pursuit of all-things-money. When focused on money, everything is phrased in, "Do I have money for food? Rent? Clothes? If I miss work, how much money will I lose? If I go to college, which degree will help me make the most money when I graduate? I can't do this fun thing or have that because of money."

What has helped me over the years to weed through the chaos is to recognize that money is a means to an end and not an end in of itself, and when facing some dilemma, I ask myself, "What matters to me?"

When I say money is a means to an end, emphasize it as "Money is A means to AN end." Money not only does not solve all problems, but it is not the only means to solving A problem or meeting A desire. In order to make sense of this specification, I have to work backwards by asking myself what exactly is the core issue.

Here is a primal example:
The easiest reaction to, "I'm hungry." for example, is to try and find food. If there isn't any in the cupboard, the first thought is to go buy some groceries or go to a restaurant. What if you don't have any money or want to save money? Remember first that money is A means to AN end. Work backwards by recognizing what the "end" is that you desire. Is it to just feel satiated? To eat a particular kind of food that you are craving? Then acknowledge that money is A means. What other means could there be to feed yourself? You could invite yourself over to a friend's house for a meal, invite a friend over to your house and ask them to bring an offering of that one food item you are craving. You could wander the aisles of a Costco or such places that hand out samples, attend a community event which has snacks available. You could find a food pantry or go dumpster diving if you are really desperate. Often, in learning to meet "ends" in this roundabout way, more than one "end" is accomplished. In this case, you'll develop relationships, learn about your community, or see something new.

That is a simple example, but I have found that the approach often forces me to weed out the noise of the world to make decisions about what is important to me in life and think about creative ways to accomplish this "end" besides relying on money. I have been surprised at how happy and full a life can feel even in bare bones existence. Being poor is so often debilitating and I have slowly learned how to not allow money to always put up a wall between me and what matters. If developing deep relationships with God and people, having fun, having a safe and lovely place to live, spending time in nature, being responsible with finances, being able to help others, filling my life with art and music and animals are what matters, then that is where I begin. I remember what matters to me, then I remember that money is only ONE means to these ends. In stretching my mind, my options seem more numerous, I feel less trapped by not having money, and I realize that money is in fact only helpful in accomplishing very few ends after all.

Money is necessary in life and I'll be quite honest and say, it is nearly indispensable. Money makes many aspects of life much less stressful when it is available. It is not, however, powerful, evil, or good, in of itself. It is A means to an end, and the ends matter more than money.