Dirty Dishes- in Five parts
1
Caked with rancid butter,
leftover beans from last night's dinner,
or soaking in soapy water-
Dishes beckon from the bottom of the musty sink
Mostly, my mom beckons from the kitchen,
or pokes her head in my bedroom doorway
and invokes an incessant request,
asked of me every night for fifteen years-
more like a statement requiring obedience,
"You're going to do the dishes tonight, right?"
2
No matter that I am almost quarter of a century in years-
It has been my job to wash the dishes every night
for as long as I have been able to reach the sink.
No matter that I had rarely put up a fight or refused-
No matter that I had six hours of homework due the next day-
No matter that I prefer to wash dishes in the afternoon-
They must be DONE! And done before bedtime! Why?
"I don't want to see dirty dishes greeting me in the morning."
A familiar, chafing, phrase.
3
Moving into my own house was a freedom I cherished.
No one told me when to do the dishes...or how...
I waited a week at a time before finally washing my dishes
and it was pure bliss.
I woke up to dirty dishes in the sink-
AND I DID NOT CARE!
I washed one dish in the morning
three in the afternoon,
none at night.
I discovered that MY favorite time to do the dishes is in the afternoon
around 3:00 or 4:00pm
Or after I get off of work.
It gave me time to process the day...and then left my treasured evenings free
4
Age 26: Living with my uncle in St. Louis
I still wash the dishes for the house-
When I please-
Usually during the late afternoon, around 3:00 or 4:00.
One day I did not have time to do them.
We chat as Uncle washes the dishes before bed.
I briefly feel nervous and wait for a reprimand or a guilt trip to fall from his lips
Hesistant, I offer to do them for him.
Without hint of annoyance or displeasure,
He says in passing while rinsing a cup,
"No, it's fine. I can do them very well myself. I just don't like to wake up to see dirty dishes in the sink."
I am relieved, but oh, THAT PHRASE!
I thought of all the times my mom had used it
and wondered again why it bothered me so much.
5
I never cared to notice before, but the next morning,
I come to the kitchen expecting to see
the cups, plates and pots,
piled high in the dish drainer.
Instead, there are stacks of dirty dishes in the sink AND clean ones in the drainer!
Briefly, I wonder, "I thought I saw my uncle finish the dishes last night?"
Yes, I had watched him place the last clean plate on the top of the stack where it still remains...
Although I had woken to the breakfast remains on the counter every other day in my uncle's house and had not been in the least affected by it,
This morning,
A tsunami like revelation engulfed me
as years of memories flooded my mind...
countless images...
And suddenly I realized why I hated the phrase,
"I do not like to see dirty dishes in the morning."
I did the dishes every night and STILL saw dirty dishes every morning!
The first person awake in the house was always my dad, then my mom, then the kids.
They saw the kitchen clean- the fruits of my labors-
But by the time I saw the kitchen in the morning,
the family's breakfast bowls and spoons filled the sink,
egg remains dried to the skillets,
jam smudges on the counter,
coffegrounds on the stove...
My small group leader from church had recently been discussing life's FUTILITY.
This morning, I felt the fullness of that word.
All my life, I was forced to do dishes when it pleased someone else.
Cleaned the kitchen every night until it shined,
during a time most inconvenient for me,
And woke every day to a mess I did not make.
Did anyone ever stop to care if I do not want to wake to see "dirty dishes in the morning"????
Caked with rancid butter,
leftover beans from last night's dinner,
or soaking in soapy water-
Dishes beckon from the bottom of the musty sink
Mostly, my mom beckons from the kitchen,
or pokes her head in my bedroom doorway
and invokes an incessant request,
asked of me every night for fifteen years-
more like a statement requiring obedience,
"You're going to do the dishes tonight, right?"
2
No matter that I am almost quarter of a century in years-
It has been my job to wash the dishes every night
for as long as I have been able to reach the sink.
No matter that I had rarely put up a fight or refused-
No matter that I had six hours of homework due the next day-
No matter that I prefer to wash dishes in the afternoon-
They must be DONE! And done before bedtime! Why?
"I don't want to see dirty dishes greeting me in the morning."
A familiar, chafing, phrase.
3
Moving into my own house was a freedom I cherished.
No one told me when to do the dishes...or how...
I waited a week at a time before finally washing my dishes
and it was pure bliss.
I woke up to dirty dishes in the sink-
AND I DID NOT CARE!
I washed one dish in the morning
three in the afternoon,
none at night.
I discovered that MY favorite time to do the dishes is in the afternoon
around 3:00 or 4:00pm
Or after I get off of work.
It gave me time to process the day...and then left my treasured evenings free
4
Age 26: Living with my uncle in St. Louis
I still wash the dishes for the house-
When I please-
Usually during the late afternoon, around 3:00 or 4:00.
One day I did not have time to do them.
We chat as Uncle washes the dishes before bed.
I briefly feel nervous and wait for a reprimand or a guilt trip to fall from his lips
Hesistant, I offer to do them for him.
Without hint of annoyance or displeasure,
He says in passing while rinsing a cup,
"No, it's fine. I can do them very well myself. I just don't like to wake up to see dirty dishes in the sink."
I am relieved, but oh, THAT PHRASE!
I thought of all the times my mom had used it
and wondered again why it bothered me so much.
5
I never cared to notice before, but the next morning,
I come to the kitchen expecting to see
the cups, plates and pots,
piled high in the dish drainer.
Instead, there are stacks of dirty dishes in the sink AND clean ones in the drainer!
Briefly, I wonder, "I thought I saw my uncle finish the dishes last night?"
Yes, I had watched him place the last clean plate on the top of the stack where it still remains...
Although I had woken to the breakfast remains on the counter every other day in my uncle's house and had not been in the least affected by it,
This morning,
A tsunami like revelation engulfed me
as years of memories flooded my mind...
countless images...
And suddenly I realized why I hated the phrase,
"I do not like to see dirty dishes in the morning."
I did the dishes every night and STILL saw dirty dishes every morning!
The first person awake in the house was always my dad, then my mom, then the kids.
They saw the kitchen clean- the fruits of my labors-
But by the time I saw the kitchen in the morning,
the family's breakfast bowls and spoons filled the sink,
egg remains dried to the skillets,
jam smudges on the counter,
coffegrounds on the stove...
My small group leader from church had recently been discussing life's FUTILITY.
This morning, I felt the fullness of that word.
All my life, I was forced to do dishes when it pleased someone else.
Cleaned the kitchen every night until it shined,
during a time most inconvenient for me,
And woke every day to a mess I did not make.
Did anyone ever stop to care if I do not want to wake to see "dirty dishes in the morning"????
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