Nesting Year
Nesting:
To build or occupy a nest.
To create and settle into a warm and secure refuge.
To put snugly together or inside one another
or better yet;
the tendency to arrange one's immediate surroundings, such as a work station, to create a place where one feels secure, comfortable, or in control
Benjamin Verdonck built a nest on the outside of a Rotterdam city building in 2008. That could have been called his "Nesting Year". While his art project is fascinating and oddly inspiring, my Nesting Year does not involve creating a human sized nest out of tree branches, foam, and hay. Besides the fact that I am terrified of heights, I think his version would be a bit drafty for a home.
As I was contemplating a potential theme for this year, my mind kept reverting back to decorating my new apartment. At the same time, I thought of birds and other animals that busy themselves with making their home as I was doing.
The word "nesting" often describes the habits of a pregnant woman preparing her abode for the arrival of the baby. It is used in terms of "nesting dolls" which fit snugly one inside the other. For birds, their nest is a safe place, high above the ground away from predators, and a warm place to nestle in harsh weather.
While I am certainly not pregnant, nor a bird, the nesting theme appeals to me because it has been over two years that I have been able to have my own place. I lived here in St. Louis while my belongings sat a thousand miles away in a Tucson storage U-Box. Now, not only do I have my belongings with me, but on December 1st, I moved into a spacious shotgun apartment. The landlords allowed me to paint the walls any color I desired and I have slowly been unpacking and decorating.
The vision I have for the Nesting Year is to allow myself to embrace this new apartment as a secure, beautiful place in my life. I want to delight in saving up for bookcases and a kitchen table. I want to choose the pieces and enjoy placing my books on the shelves. I'll even relish choosing table cloths for special dinners. I want to invite people over for dinner, for a walk in my new neighborhood or to downtown, and make a cup of tea for a friend who stops by for a "vent session". I want this to be the "birthplace" of new artwork, music, written work, renewed relationships, and life visions.
Most of all, I want to let go of the fear that keeps me from trusting this new-found cheer and relief that have increased every day as I organize my art closet or put up curtains. Many aspects of my life were highly unsettled for a few years. That, along with my family history of moving relentlessly, has left me feeling like I can't, or shouldn't, let myself rest for a bit in a home or stage of my life. If I can choose to nestle in 2013 and take my thoughtful time in creating this place to be one of comfort, peace, and beauty for myself and others, I have an idea that I might be able to leap into some more daring future.
Sometimes I get frozen in my conflicting desires of wanting to live in Europe and to stay in St. Louis. I am conflicted with my long-held desire for a husband and my contentment and focus with my single life in the moment. I am especially conflicted with my desire to change or delight the world with my writing and art, and the seemingly at odds desire to settle in a home to live a quiet life. For this Nesting Year, I have a feeling that allowing myself the time to "arrange my immediate surroundings, to create a place where I feel secure, comfortable, or in control" will somehow aid me in seeing clearly how these paths intertwine. In the least, I will be able to rest and enjoy being in my own home so that the future will appear less daunting than it has seemed lately.
There are aspects of this "nesting" theme that will surprise me this year, I believe. For now, though, nestling my head to rest and ruffling my feathers in my new surroundings are my intentions.
To borrow from my soon-to-be 17 year old brother's favorite childhood book, "My Nest is Best" by P.D. Eastman, in 2013 you may hear me sing:
"I love my house.
I love my nest.
In all the world,
My nest is best."
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