Tear Collector
You keep track of all my sorrows.
You have collected all my tears in your bottle.
You have recorded each one in your book.
Psalm 56:8
If I cried in the womb, God heard me. Each tear was accounted for in his book, His masterpiece detailing my life's story.
I wonder if the entries read something like this:
"July 10th, 1984. 7:49pm Washington, MO- Laelia cried six tears when she took her first breath"
From the moment the cold slap of reality broke into my embryonic reverie, God collected tear after tear, placing each precious droplet in a bottle. A glass bottle? Does it list my name on the outside? I like to imagine it is made from emerald or blue sapphire with a pearl stopper.
"On ____ day of 1987 Laelia shed 32 tears as she was being carried down the hallway towards the operating room. She shed 25 more upon waking up from the surgery."
This book must have my name on the cover- my very own book with my very own name, with my very own sorrows carefully inscribed in God's beautiful handwriting.
There will be entries which have escaped my memory, detailing long forgotten minor pouts or misunderstandings, my angst over getting my hair brushed, or tears shed in my sleep over haunting nightmares.
The nights I cried, afraid of the shadows and evil presences I felt lurking in my room, the days I cried when my parents argued, my sister frustrated me, my friends hurt my feelings, the neighbor boys called me names, were all carefully recorded in His book titled "Laelia's Sorrows"
The tears that dripped down my cheek upon hearing a beautiful symphony, while watching the waves lap peacefully against a grey sand beach on a rainy day, or when being overwhelmed by a sense of God's love all fell into the tear bottle of the Lord.
I like to think that God does not only collect the tears and record my sorrows according to my own human experience. Maybe He inscribes alongside each entry His purpose and insight into each situation. When I get to heaven, God might hand me the book and the bottle of tears as evidence of His unending care for the details of my existance. He will encourage me to sit down and read through the book and I will praise Him all the more, because, finally, I will be able to understand how my loving Father worked out each sorrow for my good.
The Lord might often have recorded carefully in his book,
"Laelia was feeling sad today. They are moving again. She is lonely and scared, but I will make my presence known to her and be with her in such and such a way and use this experience in such a way for my ultimate glory."
and
"Laelia's heart felt broken today. She cried thirteen tears over _____ who pays no attention to her. She will have many years of tears over men who don't notice her, but I will show her how much I love her, how beautifully I created her, and I will pursue her every day..."
Today, Laelia's grandfather died. She shed ___ # of tears. Death stinks and I understand her pain. She does not see him in Heaven with me and cannot understand the reality of his new life here, but soon she will know and in the meantime I will comfort her in many ways..."
In His book, the Lord will detail the tears cried over hunger, fear, anger, frustration, joy, confusion, physical pain, lots and lots of emotional pain, surprise, longing, loss, beauty, remorse, hatred, love, worship...
He understands that I am just dust
and wet with many tears, mud.
I am mud created into a being so filled with intricacies of experience and feeling as to boggle my own brain- mirroring my Creator's intricate nature and yet with a finite mind, unable to make sense of it on my own.
Unflinchingly, with care, complete understanding and love, the Lord takes note of each pain and sorrow
and collects each tear
and records each one
in, "Laelia's Sorrows," His ever expanding book.
You have collected all my tears in your bottle.
You have recorded each one in your book.
Psalm 56:8
If I cried in the womb, God heard me. Each tear was accounted for in his book, His masterpiece detailing my life's story.
I wonder if the entries read something like this:
"July 10th, 1984. 7:49pm Washington, MO- Laelia cried six tears when she took her first breath"
From the moment the cold slap of reality broke into my embryonic reverie, God collected tear after tear, placing each precious droplet in a bottle. A glass bottle? Does it list my name on the outside? I like to imagine it is made from emerald or blue sapphire with a pearl stopper.
"On ____ day of 1987 Laelia shed 32 tears as she was being carried down the hallway towards the operating room. She shed 25 more upon waking up from the surgery."
This book must have my name on the cover- my very own book with my very own name, with my very own sorrows carefully inscribed in God's beautiful handwriting.
There will be entries which have escaped my memory, detailing long forgotten minor pouts or misunderstandings, my angst over getting my hair brushed, or tears shed in my sleep over haunting nightmares.
The nights I cried, afraid of the shadows and evil presences I felt lurking in my room, the days I cried when my parents argued, my sister frustrated me, my friends hurt my feelings, the neighbor boys called me names, were all carefully recorded in His book titled "Laelia's Sorrows"
The tears that dripped down my cheek upon hearing a beautiful symphony, while watching the waves lap peacefully against a grey sand beach on a rainy day, or when being overwhelmed by a sense of God's love all fell into the tear bottle of the Lord.
I like to think that God does not only collect the tears and record my sorrows according to my own human experience. Maybe He inscribes alongside each entry His purpose and insight into each situation. When I get to heaven, God might hand me the book and the bottle of tears as evidence of His unending care for the details of my existance. He will encourage me to sit down and read through the book and I will praise Him all the more, because, finally, I will be able to understand how my loving Father worked out each sorrow for my good.
The Lord might often have recorded carefully in his book,
"Laelia was feeling sad today. They are moving again. She is lonely and scared, but I will make my presence known to her and be with her in such and such a way and use this experience in such a way for my ultimate glory."
and
"Laelia's heart felt broken today. She cried thirteen tears over _____ who pays no attention to her. She will have many years of tears over men who don't notice her, but I will show her how much I love her, how beautifully I created her, and I will pursue her every day..."
Today, Laelia's grandfather died. She shed ___ # of tears. Death stinks and I understand her pain. She does not see him in Heaven with me and cannot understand the reality of his new life here, but soon she will know and in the meantime I will comfort her in many ways..."
In His book, the Lord will detail the tears cried over hunger, fear, anger, frustration, joy, confusion, physical pain, lots and lots of emotional pain, surprise, longing, loss, beauty, remorse, hatred, love, worship...
He understands that I am just dust
and wet with many tears, mud.
I am mud created into a being so filled with intricacies of experience and feeling as to boggle my own brain- mirroring my Creator's intricate nature and yet with a finite mind, unable to make sense of it on my own.
Unflinchingly, with care, complete understanding and love, the Lord takes note of each pain and sorrow
and collects each tear
and records each one
in, "Laelia's Sorrows," His ever expanding book.
Comments
When I get to heaven, God might hand me the book and the bottle of tears as evidence of His unending care for the details of my existance. He will encourage me to sit down and read through the book and I will praise Him all the more, because, finally, I will be able to understand how my loving Father worked out each sorrow for my good.
Such a wonderful reminder! I am thankful that God knows my sorrows and griefs. He cares deeply for me so much, that He intends even the deepest of sorrows to turn out for my good. Thank you so much for this post!