2011

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Every New Year, since I was a young teenager, I would write a journal/diary entry summarizing the previous year in regards to what I learned from God or what happened in my life. Then I would write a separate entry looking forward to the New year, detailing what I hoped- to learn from the Lord, to work on, to do.

To be sure, I am still writing these things in my journal, but last year and this year, I have been merging these entries onto this blog. 2010's summary is on the blog only, because I felt it needed to be written openly.

As for 2011, I have no idea what to expect. I am almost afraid to hope for anything in particular.

Why am I bothering to write this entry at all? The things I hope for are spiritual/growth, personal/relational and financial/stewardship related, but I don't even have the strength to detail them here. My heart hurts too much to even voice my longings. What if 2011 turns out as shocking as last year? It was all for the good in the end, but now I question whether I should hope for, plan for, or even ask God for anything in particular when He's going to do it His way in the end anyway?

Sorry, that sounded bitter. Maybe it is, slightly. Mostly, I'm confused.

I praise the Lord every moment of every day that His plans far surpass my own in every possible way, but at the turn of this new year, the thing I am struggling with most is this:

Do the desires of my heart have any place in God's plan?

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